Monday, October 31, 2011
Why are Kris Humphries & Kim Kardashian divorcing after only 72 days?
As I already talked about, Kim Kardashian is filing for divorce today, right now, of this very moment. Ryan Seacrest has confirmed the news (he produces their shows), and every media outlet is running it, so it’s on. TMZ says that she’s going to be citing “irreconcilable differences†which is funny because how “irreconcilable†is anything after only 72 days? It’s not like they’re being tortured, you know? “Oh, I just don’t know how much longer I can go to parties and have my photograph taken with my husband! IT’S TORTURE.†Anyway, now we get to play the fun game of “Why Are they Really Splitting Up?â€
*Theory #1: TMZ claims that the fight that led to divorce was about Kris Humphries wanting to move back to Minnesota. TMZ claims, “We’re told Kris was passionate about eventually settling down in Minnesota, where he’s from … and believed Kim was on board with the plan. She wasn’t. Sources tell us Kim â€" who’s from L.A. â€" wants to stay near her family … and she also feels that staying in town is the best thing for her career.â€
*Theory #2: Us Weekly’s sources say that Kris “isn’t drinking the Kardashian Kool-Aid†and it was causing major problems because he wouldn’t just fall in line. Also, he’s bored and doing nothing because of the lockout, and it was driving Kim crazy.
*Theory #3: Kim and Kris were living in NYC with Kourtney, Scott and Mason-Dixon. Kim told People that the living situation was “not ideal†for newlyweds.
*Theory #4: Kim is already boning someone else. Hollywood Life thinks it might be Linnocent’s old john, Vikram Chatwal. Reggie Bush is probably in the mix too. Or what about that dude Kim was already sexting while she was engaged?
*Theory #5: It was always just a dumb lie, a storyline promoted for the reality show. It was all for ratings and money and famewhoring and gifts and freebies and an excuse to throw a party. It was all business.
*Theory #6: This is my theory - it wasn’t all a lie, just mostly a lie. I think that Kim didn’t really love Kris, but thought he was easy-going enough to be married to for a short time. I think the basic thing, the crux of all of this is that Kim simply wanted to have a wedding. She wanted to plan a wedding and wear a white dress. She didn’t think about anything beyond “walking down the aisleâ€.
Also: I can’t believe I was right about a “A Very Kardashian Divorce: The Kardashian Khristmas Specialâ€. Except maybe this one will be a Thanksgiving special. In any case, they didn’t make it to the end of the year, so I win.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Divorces, Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries
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bwhahahahahaha. i’m sorry i wish them nothing but the best. i’m going to go cackle in the corner now…
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HAHA!!! I can’t stand this bitch.
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That’s kind of awful. Just..sad.
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Theory #5 for the win. It was all a big stunt for money and publicity.
They are disgusting people. The more of these cheesy stunts they pull, the less likely it is that Kim will ever find a semi-decent guy, too. Who would want to be around that?
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No one believed this was going to last.
Kim wanted to be married and made it happen.
Now she is going to be twice divorced. How charming. Maybe wedding #3 will be lucky for her. 
Had to add in… I bet money Paris Hilton is laughing her ass off right now!
And you know E! will continue to run that wedding special for the next year. Now it is a train wreck and everyone will want to slow down and take a look at it again.
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Whoo! I laughed so hard my inner child peed her pants!
People got $$$ to waste y’all!!
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This marriage wasn’t real to begin with. I know a woman who was a producer for Keeping Up With the Kardashian’s and she says that EVERYTHING that goes on on the show is fake. The marriage was fake too.
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The comments on her facebook page are hilarious!
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Marriage is not just about the party, people!
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So…are they going to send all the wedding gifts back like Miss Manners would suggest is appropriate? NO? Hmm…I’m not at all surprised this was a shameless grab at free crap…
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Anyone Who poses ALONE on the cover of a magazine in her wedding dress without her groom is not serious about the marriage. It was all about throwing a party and looking good wearing a wedding dress. Sad.
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Theory #5 and #6.
Whatever the reason - what a couple of crass, ignorant losers. Especially when there are some people in this world who would love nothing more than to find someone special and get married, but are not able to for one reason or the other.
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it was all a set up, im sure.
but doesnt it feel good to point and laugh at her?
haha*
*nelson voice
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Theory 5
I imagine they though Kris would play along for a couple more months but got smart/bored/irritated…
they will be looking a long time for someone stupider than themselves for her to marry and stretch out the story for a whole season.
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My vote is theory #6, this is has always been my belief. She wanted a wedding, it didn’t matter who the groom was, as long as it was someone she thought she and her family could control. She thought he was just dumb enough to fill the part, and for awhile, he was. Now I hope the other one will put marriage on hold for at least a very long time. Sick of the whole bunch.
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Anyone who believes this wedding was anything other than a money-making venture from start to finish is a fool.
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I agree with Theory #6, IF you add in that she thought it would last long enough for her to poop out a kid or two. I think she assumed that he wouldn’t have the $$$ or constitution to fight her in court for custody when the inevitable divorce occurred.
When it became obvious he had a backbone and a mind of his own, she decided to cut her losses and move on.
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Ugh she’s just a glorified trash bag.
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these two idiots are a bloody joke
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i just don’t get this. they were together as late as last week in the audience at DWTS cheering on her brother. when a couple is at the threshold of divorce, they have nothing but contempt for each other…can’t even stand to be in the same room. the divorce is either a ploy - gimmick for the show or maybe the entire relationship is for ratings…hollywoood is so strange.
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Why does anybody believe that the marriage was real? It was just for the tv show.
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I think the amount of money that went in to this is just sickening. Mr. Unbeweavable and I spent $2000 on our small wedding and we have been beyond happy for 4 years. This crazy bitch had people throw money at their wedding, to the tune of $10 million and they have only been married for 2 1/2 months. Money really doesn’t buy you happiness. Or a moronic lurch that’ll follow you around like a puppy.
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I think it’s kind of a combination of all of the above. I hope she’s monumentally embarrassed for wasting so much of everybody’s time. I’m guessing E! didn’t even get their full run of wedding day reruns out of it.
I’m kind of surprised, I thought they’d at least stick it out six months. And I thought that was being cynical!
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(re-posting part of this from other thread as I am lazy)
Oh please. Now she gets exactly what she wants and deserves. More tabloid covers and ways to talk about herself. Why this woman and her family are famous and millionaires is beyond my understanding. “Eâ€, Ryan Seacrest and their minions have foisted this phoney on us for years and now another round of crap.
People who work for a living are losing jobs and struggling and this bitch gets richer by the day for no apparent reason. It is beginning to make me really angry.
She should have to give all of the money she made off this phony wedding back to the source or to some really deserving charity. She should be charged with fraud as it was taken under false pretenses.
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If it is true…. does that mean she will go back to being a brothers toy.
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This bitch is just vomit inducing. Kimmy wants to play wedding everyone! She makes Paris Hilton look like the girl with a moral compass.
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Why are people protesting Wall Street in the occupy Wall Street movement,when we should be protesting against this family and how they’re the epitome of greed and waste, they repulse me. A bigger waste than Lindsay Lohan.
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#5, I’m sure of it. Nothing the Kardashian Krew do is real. Twice divorced and you’re only 31, looks like Kims new nickname is Ross Geller.
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Hey Kris, don’t divorce the bitch, instead simply get an annulment. And will they be paying back all the idiots who paid for this fakery? I bet not, I am sure E! will be protecting the little piggy Kimmie and spinning this to make it look like Kris Humphrey was at fault, not their perfect little pee and poo girl. I mean really she allowed a dog of man to pee and poo on her and now acts as if she is the idea of perfection. God I hate that clan, and why they keep making more money is beyond me. Whatever Kris Humphrey may have gotten out of this (hopefully not an STD) it was NOT enough. That should be enough to say about but somehow it simply isn’t. A pox on all of the Kardashian houses.
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there is a NEW blind item about this and it fits her dumb butt perfectly..
FAKE!
like her face…money grubbing trashbag!
it was written all over her face, she never loved this dude.
it was already let out by E, that men were being sought out for this fiasco.
to think she wanted Jeters or Alex, she thinks waaay more of herself than what the public thinks.
famewhore
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#5 adding that they just finished filming so of course they are divorcing. Watch them reconcile right before next season.
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“When he showed he had a backbone, she decided to cut her losses and move onâ€- BINGO!
I think that’s why so much effort has been put into making Kris appear to be so bad with her family and the marriage.
My vote is that the family planned the whole thing and the “groom†believed it was real. Having time on his hands due to the lockout opened his eyes.
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Theory #6 - she could have had a cardboard or wax figure as the groom and that would have served her purpose as much as kris did.
It was all about the show, the ratings, the money - it was not a marriage for love.
I would be ashamed to show my face if I had spent goobs of millions on a wedding and then filed for divorce after 72 days.
They have made a mockery of marriage.
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#5 adding that they just finish filming so of course they are divorcing. Watch them reconcile right before next season.
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What a poor excuse for a woman. Actually, I guess she’s a ‘brand’ now. Wassa matter, honey, he wouldn’t change his name to Kardashian?? Maybe she was counting on never seeing him due to his game schedule, but the NBA went on strike and now she actually has to spend time with him. Can’t wait to hear her play the victim. I realize that it’s her money and she can spend it however she likes, but if she wasn’t such a selfish bitch, just think of the good she could’ve done in the world with what she wasted on her sham wedding. And these are the people we glorify in our society. Doesn’t say much about us.
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72 days? I’m surprised it lasted 72 hours.
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His parents must be so relieved he got out of the Kardashian madness.
I have never seen a more sterile wedding. The backdrop looked like a Scientology wedding. The wedding march (here comes the Queen) music was so pretentious.
The reception was beautiful.
I have never seen a wedding so lacking in meaning in my life. I thought she would last a little longer out of embarrassment. But I agree with CB, Kris wouldn’t fall fall into the Kardashian line. How dare he want a real marriage after the wedding. Move into a suite with Courtney and Scott instead of their own suite down the hall. She never cared about this marriage.
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Just wanted to include the fact that he got scammed out of a good chunk of dough. Maybe Kim wanted to make sure Lurch didn’t start losing her money.
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Bets are on that she and Reggie hook up soon. I don’t know why she dumped him in the first place. I don’t wish I’ll on anyone, but we all saw this coming.
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Dang, I am loving everyone’s posts here today - they are funny and interesting and have made my day!
Keep up the good work gang!
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I don’t feel bad for Kim. She got exactly what she wanted out of this whole fiasco. More money, better ratings, and a beautiful wedding. Chris was only along for the ride.
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Hello? Because it was a friggin publicity stunt that’s why! Her mother supposedly held an audition to look for a husband for her just for the damn show!
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The length of his contract was 60 days (which is actually about 6 years in TV-time, which is like dog years). He actually overstayed his contractual obligation by 12 days! Atta boy! Go for those overtime charges!
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Stunt wedding! Hahahahaha! I hope the vendors got paid, because they will never be able to brag that they “did†Kim’s wedding.
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My vote is for Theory #6.
I think KK just wanted “a wedding†with someone who also had a ‘K’ initial, and that Kris was just an inconvenient truth.
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Theory 5 is my guess. I’d be pissed if I spent money on wedding gift if it was all a publicity stunt from the beginning. I hope the guests were in on the joke.
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