Saturday, July 30, 2011
“Who does Gwyneth have to bang to get a Coldplay CD?†links
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Links
- Did Reese Witherspoon pap her own honeymoon? [Popsugar]
- This lovely lady got kicked out of Walmart for wearing a bikini [D-Listed]
- Did Prince Harry call Pippa a "Foxy Filly"?[Lainey Gossip]
- Dry cleaning is gross [Jezebel]
- Rupert Grint loves Tom Felton [Go Fug Yourself]
- Classic movie plots that technology killed [Fark]
- The pregnant man is buff [Celebslam]
- Blind items: together for the kids [Gawker]
I always imagine Goopy being one of those people who flinches a little whenever a colloquialism like “bang†comes out of her mouth. Or the type of person who has to really *try* to say profanity because it doesn’t come naturally.
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Oh Goop…looks like the writing is on the wall.
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(@_@) 
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Mila received a sort of backlash (on several sites) after the Moscow premier (where Kaiser pointed out that she looked douchey).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4a4CSXFb5EQ&feature=related=1
It’s in Russian. I’ll try to translate.
A guy in the crowd:
- Wow so serious and focused, why not smiling?
A girl asking:
- Can I take a picture with you?
Mila:
- You can, if my bodyguard won’t move you [Is that a fan or a piece of furniture?]
People didn’t seem to like this attitude.
She might be tired but it wouldn’t hurt to put a smile on and take some pics.
Justin did take pictures with the fans and signed pics. Here it is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD7-nQvxI_U&feature=related
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*giggling under my breath*
@ Quest
exxxaaactly. she gets the wide eye on that one.
wonder if she’s got a Goop recipe to make a husband regain interest?
burn. 
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I bet Gwen has probably banged a set of drums more times than her husband, but I don’t like thinking about her banging either one.
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@ grayze
or giggle insanely at her own naughtiness
or pause for a quick word of prayer before saying it
or make sure there’s an insufferable silence so everyone can pick up on how “hardcore†Lady Goop can be
because cussing is just so damn…ugh…â€commonâ€
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Ok, here’s my prediction: *puts on turban like Johnny Carson*
Within the next 5 years, Ben Affleck will leave Jennifer Garner (after she has this next baby they haven’t confirmed).
Gwen and Chris will break up (finally).
Everyone will wonder if Ben will launch Bennifer 2.0 with J-Lo (AKA Jenny on the clock) but that won’t happen despite her best efforts.
Ben and Gwen will get back together and be christened “Bwen.†It will be awful.
*takes off turban*
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@ sigh
Yes, all of those! Especially that third one. I can see it so clearly in my head, the pause before the profanity-bomb drops.
Because vulgar profanities, you know, are exactly what the peasants respond to. They’re rough, crass folk. It’s the only language they can *understand*.
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Say what you will about Glee, but not ALL the cast are D-Bags. Jane Lynch, Cory Montheith, and Chris Colfer all seem like nice people.
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is sheâ€"on the sly,trying to prepare us for the inevitable???
sounds like she is horny and mean….ewww
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She’s gonna start ending every condescending pronouncement with “Bang†instead of “Namasteâ€.
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Oh Goop, no one cares.
I really want to see Crazy Stupid Love. Have heard it’s supposed to be really good.
I don’t think the whole cast of Glee is awful, I still like some of them, but there definitely seems to be some implosion happening there. Typical Ryan Murphy show.
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Runs With Scissors, Bwen actually sounds awesome.
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I guess that now that she hangs with the hip rappers and the glee kids, she has to be cool and relevant. Frankly, it was crude and unfunny. I mean, really, Goop; buy it when it is released. How about that?
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Did anyone know/care that Coldplay has/had/will have a new CD coming out? Meh. So circa 2000-2006. They had a good run. Maybe the same can be said for Gwyneth and Chris. She may seem cold and is definitely uncouth, despite her desperate attempts to appear cultured, etc, but she does seem to be a good mother. I don’t blame someone for wanting attention from their husband. It must be sad. Even sadder that he is so disgusting/repulsive.
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goop said “bang†on twitter. she’s so hardcore.
shut up, goop. i mean, really.
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@RunswithScissors
*giggles* at your name and your turban.
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@AquaticMusings
Yup. I think this tweet is actually a ploy to drum up (no pun intended) interest in the Coldplay CD.
Like they want us to believe “wow, if his wife can’t even get an advanced copy and they are keeping it that much under wrap, well then it must be the hotest thing around!â€
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I still don’t believe they are a couple.
I don’t think it’s possible for her to screw Martin to get a CD.
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Gwyneth is trying to be funny and she’s failing miserably. Why joke about getting banged to get a Coldplay album when most of the gossip surrounding her marriage is that she and Chris Martin are no longer banging and Martin is in fact banging other women while he is on tour and she is in another country filming a movie/cooking show/or Glee episode?
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I’m sure Gwyneth meant to be funny but honestly, that isn’t something you post publicly when you are supposed to have class.
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@grayze
You’re kidding, right? This woman called her deceased granny a c*nt on national television!
In any case, it’s a bit sad because she’s not actually joking. It’s an open secret that her marriage has been in name only for years now.
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I don’t get the Chris hate - he always comes across really cool.
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As Muhammed Ali used to say, the funniest joke is the truth. #ironyfail
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She could trade a can of cheese for a CD on the street…
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Oh damn, I saw those photos of Amy. Im missing her music all over again. And I noticed, for a chick with such small boobs, she sure loved layering her bras and cami’s. If you look at past pics of her, she wears at least three. Id die from suffocation if I ever wore that many!
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crude.
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@ roxy
maybe mila doesnt like being in russia. she’s jewish and from the ukraine, so being in moscow might put her in a bad mood, considering her family history.
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I completely agree with Grayze; Gwenyth seems to be one of those despised people who spatter vulgarities for the sole purpose of being perceived as “edgyâ€. It’s as if she’s trying too hard.
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I hate her, bean pole shaped, nasty, connected, skank. Easy to get to the top when you were born there. Chris Martin made a huge mistake getting involved with this cold piece of timber.
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@ Violet
I’m not saying she doesn’t use profanity; she does, and I’m familiar with that incident. I’m just saying that, when I hear her use it, it sounds the same way it does when I hear my fifteen-year-old niece use it (always when her mom isn’t looking, of course); they both want to come across all badass and hardcore. I get a kick out of it.
@ Cassie - yeah, it’s the try, exactly!
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